A Campfire

Ever since I seriously started thinking about relationships, around 8th grade to 9th grade since that's when they started to form. I had this metaphor, a campfire, which I thought represented a relationship very very nicely. And I love this metaphor to this day and fully believe in it because it is a simple, yet I think a very effective way of measuring a relationship in terms of health. Simple test though, and tests can do so much so it's not too broad or expansive. It is just a metaphor.

My campfire metaphor, well here it is. A campfire is like a relationship. Very hard to start a fire yes? Rubbing two sticks together, matches, flint stone whatever it may be. I won't go into detail on how starting fires represent. My point is that starting fires is hard, much like starting a relationship. Once this fire gets going, it needs fuel, like a relationship needs love okay maybe not love but it needs time and commitment and faith. Let's say that's firewood. Once the fire starts burning we need to feed it with firewood, time, commitment and faith.

I was thinking if I ever had a girlfriend, and we would get too close, I might have to tell her I need some space. I know I've gotten attached before, and it's honestly suffocating. It's like taking a drug you know is bad but you do it anyway. It really becomes an unhealthy addiction that sometimes I can't control anymore. Even for some simple pleasure of happiness maybe that's what drives me to be attached. Either way my point was if at some point either I or my girlfriend gets attached, then I may have to lay down this metaphor. And this is how I imagined it. Let's say her name was Madeline.

You know Madeline, we've been hanging out and talking almost every day.

Yes so? Don't you like it?

Well of course I do, you know I love being with you. But don't you think it can be unhealthy, or at least hurtful on the days we can't or don't get together?

Yes I know what you mean, but that's why I hang out with you so much. So I can cherish the moments with you together as much as I can.

But doesn't that just make it worse for ourselves when we really can't see each other?

What do you mean?

Well... *breaks down the campfire metaphor*. So every fire needs fuel right? Well let's say we hang out 7 days a week at least 1 hour every single day. It's like feeding our camp fire a TON of firewood right? And this will make our campfire huge, like a bonfire, a big bursting yellow golden fire. But there will be a time when we're going to run low on firewood, and have less time to spend with each other due to homework or just in case we're busy. We're going to have to find some firewood, find the time to spend with each other and it'll start to get increasingly hard don't you know? And on the days we can't feed our fire, we can't find the time to spend with each other. Do you know what will happen? Our fire will slowly die, it will slowly go down needing more and more firewood. Don't you see? If we feed the fire by dumping in huge amounts of firewood, then we'll have to always keep dumping in the firewood. Listen Madeline, I never want to hurt you or let you feel heartache, but by doing this to ourselves, we're hurting each other. I'm not saying that we shouldn't spend time together. Let's just keep our fire contained, well lit. Warm comforting since it offers us protection from harm. A fire's warmth is absolutely comforting and precious. Don't worry we won't let it die.

All i'm saying is if you have something to do, then go do it. If you want to go hang out with your friends, go do it. Don't let one phone call from me cancel your plans with something you wanted to do previously. I want you to live your life and be independent without me too sometimes okay? We don't have to be attached at the hip all the time. And this way, we can keep our fire small, steady, but strong. And sometimes we can splurge and make a big fire for toasting marshmallows and having a fun night together. If we do it this way, we can be happier together.

And she'll smile at me and say, Okay we'll do that. I love you.

I love you, too.

<3

The end.

I wonder how great of a boyfriend I'll be able to be. Somehow, part of me can't wait to meet someone special and just sweep her off her feet and make her think, he's the best for me.


p.s. On a more unrelated note, you're the best and I owe you.