Sunday, February 28, 2010
Resemblance
I've always been told by my mom that I take more after her like looks. Today I realized that not only do I take after her looks, but almost everything about her.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Letter
There often have been times when I ask myself the question, "What did I just do?" or "Why did I just say that?". I can honestly say that I don't know to those questions, but that I have been asking those same questions over and over again. Lately I have come up with a few reasons why I can act like a real asshole to you. Let me rewind back to when I was a child.
Ever since I started school, grades have been extremely important. I remember that grades weren't for myself, and they were for my mom and my step-dad. Being raised in dominant asian family with core asian values is, I think, extremely tough. I remember I would also work my butt of for every single homework assignment, study for all tests for that A. The great thing was that it was all doable and achievable. I remember I used to cry if I got a B or lower. Even B+ were just marginally acceptable by my parents at the time. I mean all I was doing was simple math, a few long divisions, multiplication and subtraction all throughout grade school. It was never hard, but it was just tedious. I believe that having something that is just tedious in the way of getting an A shows that I was just lazy or careless in my mistakes. However, a difficult subject was a different matter, but for the time being everything was within my abilities to accomplish and pass with flying colors with a stamp of approval that was an A. And the sad part is, I don't even remember my parents ever telling me that I was doing super well or awesome for fear that I would start slacking off. I remember that the only one time my parents I did extremely well in school was when I studied very hard and I didn't take care of myself and I ended up getting sick with a flu, and to make me feel better they said I was doing a fantastic job in school and it made me really happy. Getting an A back then, was nothing more than a smile and a simple good job, or keep it up. Getting a B+ was a, "I know you can do better than this" even though the reason why I didn't get that A was because of a hard problem that I didn't quite understand or that I had forgot how to spell a word or I forgot the capital of a certain state. Anything under a B and I knew I would get a huge lecture and I was so so scared of getting anything lower than a B. Literally, that fear drove me to always get A's and to never give up.
Fast forward to Junior high school. Things start to get a little bit harder with things I don't exactly know. Still, getting an A in everything was still my parents goal and I desperately wanted to achieve it. As work piled and took longer to finish, I upped my intensity to finish it. I was more determined than ever to finish any homework assignment, to get the highest score on any test. I remember in 7th grade I got the highest score consistently next to my Japanese friend, Tatsuya. He and I were competing with each other to get the highest overall grade in the class. At the end of the year he beat me, sadly only on extra credit and those problems were just really hard. Still there was one memorable moment that I remember. The teacher announced the results of the past exam and said the highest score of this test was 109.5 and it was Steven Fong. Congratulations Steven Fong. Tatsuya got a 108, missed it by that much. I ended the class with a 104.5 or something, definitely an A+ in the class. There was actually one class in 8th grade that gave me much difficulty. US History taught by Mr. Hayman. This class was especially tough because the tests were just so incredibly hard. It was a multiple-multiple choice test. Meaning it was a multiple choice problem, A, B, C, D, E and in addition, there was usually more than one answer to the question. And the answers were phrased so tricky that reading the book wouldn't give you all the answers. Reading your notes wouldn't have given you all the anwers. It was more like an SAT test with questions like, What would Madison do if this happened... It was crazy. It was the first time that my overall grade was a C. I didn't cry, but I was extremely upset and bitter. Even my step-dad helped me and when we did our test together, when we weren't supposed to we still ended up with a C on the test. It was ridiculous.
Fast forward to high school. During this time, I finally realized that I would get the grade for myself, and not for my parents anymore. I knew that however hard I worked, the results would show and I continued to believe that through out high school. STill, my grades stayed consistently high and I never really did get a C in any class again; I only got B's and A's, mainly A's.
Now that you're caught up with my academic life, heres the thing. You and I both value that if we say we would do something we would do it because we gave our word and we are both men of our words. The problem is that I don't like hypocrites and I'm sure you don't like them either. If I ever was a hypocrite and I'm sure I was many times, you can or rather you should call me out on it. Although I may be upset, I would realize later that it's better to know then to be ignorant. Anyway I dont like hypocrites. Another big reason, what I thought of was related to how I was raised, hence why I told you my academic history. See my mom never really congratulated me on my academic achievements very much. I knew she was proud of me, but she was very scared that once she told me I was doing awesome, I would start to slack off and lose it. And so for many cases a B+ was never good enough although I would try with every ounce of my strength to get that A, it just wasn't good enough and it shattered me knowing that I wasn't good enough and I would be sad for a bit, but I would always bounce back and just try harder. See, I'm applying the same theory that my mom did to me to you, subconsciously. Although it doesn't work, I do it anyway because it's really how I was raised as a kid. If I tell you that you didn't finish this or something and I remind you that you did poorly on something, it's not that I want to belittle you, but to make you remember that awful feeling of failure so you can rise up, prove me wrong and get that A. See my logic, or just the logic in general that is instilled in many asian families is that if you get put down, it's really saying do better. And that's really what my whole life was about, never settling for that B+ and getting that A no matter what. I put you down because I want you to do better. I'm sorry that it's been doing the reverse effect. You really have been trying really hard this quarter and I respect that. Really, why I wrote you this long letter was because I wanted you to know honestly why I'm being an asshole, and putting you down to make you feel bad isn't my intention, but for you to try even harder to make sure it just never happens again.
Ever since I started school, grades have been extremely important. I remember that grades weren't for myself, and they were for my mom and my step-dad. Being raised in dominant asian family with core asian values is, I think, extremely tough. I remember I would also work my butt of for every single homework assignment, study for all tests for that A. The great thing was that it was all doable and achievable. I remember I used to cry if I got a B or lower. Even B+ were just marginally acceptable by my parents at the time. I mean all I was doing was simple math, a few long divisions, multiplication and subtraction all throughout grade school. It was never hard, but it was just tedious. I believe that having something that is just tedious in the way of getting an A shows that I was just lazy or careless in my mistakes. However, a difficult subject was a different matter, but for the time being everything was within my abilities to accomplish and pass with flying colors with a stamp of approval that was an A. And the sad part is, I don't even remember my parents ever telling me that I was doing super well or awesome for fear that I would start slacking off. I remember that the only one time my parents I did extremely well in school was when I studied very hard and I didn't take care of myself and I ended up getting sick with a flu, and to make me feel better they said I was doing a fantastic job in school and it made me really happy. Getting an A back then, was nothing more than a smile and a simple good job, or keep it up. Getting a B+ was a, "I know you can do better than this" even though the reason why I didn't get that A was because of a hard problem that I didn't quite understand or that I had forgot how to spell a word or I forgot the capital of a certain state. Anything under a B and I knew I would get a huge lecture and I was so so scared of getting anything lower than a B. Literally, that fear drove me to always get A's and to never give up.
Fast forward to Junior high school. Things start to get a little bit harder with things I don't exactly know. Still, getting an A in everything was still my parents goal and I desperately wanted to achieve it. As work piled and took longer to finish, I upped my intensity to finish it. I was more determined than ever to finish any homework assignment, to get the highest score on any test. I remember in 7th grade I got the highest score consistently next to my Japanese friend, Tatsuya. He and I were competing with each other to get the highest overall grade in the class. At the end of the year he beat me, sadly only on extra credit and those problems were just really hard. Still there was one memorable moment that I remember. The teacher announced the results of the past exam and said the highest score of this test was 109.5 and it was Steven Fong. Congratulations Steven Fong. Tatsuya got a 108, missed it by that much. I ended the class with a 104.5 or something, definitely an A+ in the class. There was actually one class in 8th grade that gave me much difficulty. US History taught by Mr. Hayman. This class was especially tough because the tests were just so incredibly hard. It was a multiple-multiple choice test. Meaning it was a multiple choice problem, A, B, C, D, E and in addition, there was usually more than one answer to the question. And the answers were phrased so tricky that reading the book wouldn't give you all the answers. Reading your notes wouldn't have given you all the anwers. It was more like an SAT test with questions like, What would Madison do if this happened... It was crazy. It was the first time that my overall grade was a C. I didn't cry, but I was extremely upset and bitter. Even my step-dad helped me and when we did our test together, when we weren't supposed to we still ended up with a C on the test. It was ridiculous.
Fast forward to high school. During this time, I finally realized that I would get the grade for myself, and not for my parents anymore. I knew that however hard I worked, the results would show and I continued to believe that through out high school. STill, my grades stayed consistently high and I never really did get a C in any class again; I only got B's and A's, mainly A's.
Now that you're caught up with my academic life, heres the thing. You and I both value that if we say we would do something we would do it because we gave our word and we are both men of our words. The problem is that I don't like hypocrites and I'm sure you don't like them either. If I ever was a hypocrite and I'm sure I was many times, you can or rather you should call me out on it. Although I may be upset, I would realize later that it's better to know then to be ignorant. Anyway I dont like hypocrites. Another big reason, what I thought of was related to how I was raised, hence why I told you my academic history. See my mom never really congratulated me on my academic achievements very much. I knew she was proud of me, but she was very scared that once she told me I was doing awesome, I would start to slack off and lose it. And so for many cases a B+ was never good enough although I would try with every ounce of my strength to get that A, it just wasn't good enough and it shattered me knowing that I wasn't good enough and I would be sad for a bit, but I would always bounce back and just try harder. See, I'm applying the same theory that my mom did to me to you, subconsciously. Although it doesn't work, I do it anyway because it's really how I was raised as a kid. If I tell you that you didn't finish this or something and I remind you that you did poorly on something, it's not that I want to belittle you, but to make you remember that awful feeling of failure so you can rise up, prove me wrong and get that A. See my logic, or just the logic in general that is instilled in many asian families is that if you get put down, it's really saying do better. And that's really what my whole life was about, never settling for that B+ and getting that A no matter what. I put you down because I want you to do better. I'm sorry that it's been doing the reverse effect. You really have been trying really hard this quarter and I respect that. Really, why I wrote you this long letter was because I wanted you to know honestly why I'm being an asshole, and putting you down to make you feel bad isn't my intention, but for you to try even harder to make sure it just never happens again.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
The Truth About Black and Blue
Jacked this from xanga post
We've all been in that place at some point, right? You know what I'm taking about. Watching that friend hurt inside because of someone else's poison. Truth is, you can never go to a place where someone wouldn't try to harm you. Wether it's physical, or emotional. That's the sad truth.
The person you care about whether he/she is usually careful, and mature about most things, still can fall into the dark trap. And the person who's doing the poisoning could be anyone. A mutual friend, family member, lover, whatever. The most common mistake people make when trying to save their friend from the blackness is: Getting too involved.
In this situation, you should never ever try to steer your friend away from who's manipulating them. Or confront the black hearted person. This gives the manipulator more ways to poison your friend by driving a deep rift between you two. As harsh as it sounds, the only thing you can do is watch and wait. Yeah, your friend is hurting, yeah, their normal glow is fading into a deep blue color, but the more you stand by, almost idly, the more your precious friend will lean on you for support.
Don't give them advice, just listen to them. And there will come a time when your friend is no longer just blue, but starting to turn black inside. At this time, you should embrace your friend all that you can, but still maintain that distance. Usually, over time, the black will slowly start to fade, and your friend will see the light, and realize the poison that's been brewing inside them.
Get a big box of kleenex, and prepare to wipe away some tears. Because although your friend's seen the light, they will still need some serious comforting. It's cliche, I know. But patience, and kindness to both people involved, the black hearted, and the blue soul is crucial.
You really can kill with kindness.
And a quote from the OP.
"I don't see people as good or bad, they do good things, and they do bad things. The simple fact is people can be cruel, because it's their choice, their free will to judge. You can either continue the cycle of hate, or fall silent, and walk away. If you're working hard, then you are doing your best. I learned the hard way not to feel guilt or pain just because of someone else's opinion. Unfortunately, strength isn't something you learn. It's something that's inside you, that you have to awaken on your own."
Thank you OP, you made my week.
We've all been in that place at some point, right? You know what I'm taking about. Watching that friend hurt inside because of someone else's poison. Truth is, you can never go to a place where someone wouldn't try to harm you. Wether it's physical, or emotional. That's the sad truth.
The person you care about whether he/she is usually careful, and mature about most things, still can fall into the dark trap. And the person who's doing the poisoning could be anyone. A mutual friend, family member, lover, whatever. The most common mistake people make when trying to save their friend from the blackness is: Getting too involved.
In this situation, you should never ever try to steer your friend away from who's manipulating them. Or confront the black hearted person. This gives the manipulator more ways to poison your friend by driving a deep rift between you two. As harsh as it sounds, the only thing you can do is watch and wait. Yeah, your friend is hurting, yeah, their normal glow is fading into a deep blue color, but the more you stand by, almost idly, the more your precious friend will lean on you for support.
Don't give them advice, just listen to them. And there will come a time when your friend is no longer just blue, but starting to turn black inside. At this time, you should embrace your friend all that you can, but still maintain that distance. Usually, over time, the black will slowly start to fade, and your friend will see the light, and realize the poison that's been brewing inside them.
Get a big box of kleenex, and prepare to wipe away some tears. Because although your friend's seen the light, they will still need some serious comforting. It's cliche, I know. But patience, and kindness to both people involved, the black hearted, and the blue soul is crucial.
You really can kill with kindness.
And a quote from the OP.
"I don't see people as good or bad, they do good things, and they do bad things. The simple fact is people can be cruel, because it's their choice, their free will to judge. You can either continue the cycle of hate, or fall silent, and walk away. If you're working hard, then you are doing your best. I learned the hard way not to feel guilt or pain just because of someone else's opinion. Unfortunately, strength isn't something you learn. It's something that's inside you, that you have to awaken on your own."
Thank you OP, you made my week.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Spring makes me Nostalgic
The days that are continuously warm after a string of cold days makes me really nostalgic. This past weekend has been really nice. Super sunny at 76 degrees all around and it was the first time since Fall quarter that I could go to class with a t-shirt and possibly shorts if I wanted to. This weather really makes me nostalgic and even more so because I saw a lot of high school friends that I wouldn't normally see unless it was break.
I had a dream last night and it was that Tina and Felix visited school, which is weird because he goes here haha, but in my dream he didn't go here. It was nice to see him and Tina again because it really was like old times with old... selves. I miss our high school days. I miss hanging out with Andrea and going to library together after school to study for a bit and then waiting until my mom came. That was really nice of her. I'm really glad I got to come up to Irvine to visit her and everybody else. I'm sorry I'm not really naming anybody else here except her because if it wasn't for her, I'd probably not visit. And it doesn't mean that everybody in Irvine that I visited isn't that special, you are all special, but the only reason why I specifically went for her was because of my nostalgia feeling.
I remember back in the summer of 8th grade going onto 9th grade. It was one of the best and worst times I've had in my life, but let's focus on the great times. I had become really close friends with Pedro and Andrea. Andrea because somehow, she was the connection that I had made and then I got to know everybody in the circle of her friends and later became my friends in high school and also because she was literally my first great friend that wasn't a boy. At the time, I thought it was so super interesting to be able to talk to a beautiful girl and not be nervous, only because I was very very VERY shy around girls at the time, but not somehow, not her. Pedro because well we're pretty much brothers and we continually hung out in the summer almost I'd like to say everyday although it probably wasn't. But it was extremely frequent and it was the best.
You know what's crazy though? That nostalgia feeling first occurred to me 6 years ago. Can you believe it? 6 years... 4 years in high school and 2nd year in college. It's crazy isn't it? How that time passed, how many memories we've accumulated over the years, the time that we've spent with our best friends. Think back... 6 years ago. What did you do? Think back to a time when you were with the bestest of your friends and you had a nostalgia feeling like mine and you would just hang out with them, and it was special to me because it was the transition of my independence.
The nostalgia feeling is most defined when we all decided to go to verde together and hang out as a group of friends. We'd go to Maivy's house, play a little bit of Halo, perhaps Monopoly, wait for more people to show up. Walk to the Cal train station under the hot blistering heat of the sun. Wait for the cal train to come, get on it and take it to mountain view downtown, just one stop from where we were. Get out and walk to verde. And I remember their old chicken and pmt. Their old bags too.. it was white with a blue ship on it and oh man the chicken back then was incredibly oily but super tasty. Also the inside of the building was super super GREEN and had small tables and chairs.
And back to nostalgia... I felt most nostalgic on one special point, before I would walk to Maivy's because we literally lived right next to each other, maybe an 1/8th of a mile. Our complexes were just big but otherwise we were right there next ot each other. And I remember I would walk outside and I would feel a reallly warm summer breeze and there would be leaves on the ground and I would just walk down the stairs really really slowly and just take all the warm breeze in and just stand there thinking it would be an awesome great day. And when I came back, I walked up the steps, turned around and looked at the changing sun from a bright light to a more mellow and soft yellow-orange thinking, today, I made a lot of great memories and it was incredibly fun. I hope I can always do this.
And it hit me because it was that time of the year again of nostalgia and it made me think of that moment, I felt that warm breeze when I went to visit everybody on Saturday and I got to see an old face, and how it was the same face, in a way, 6 years later.
I had a dream last night and it was that Tina and Felix visited school, which is weird because he goes here haha, but in my dream he didn't go here. It was nice to see him and Tina again because it really was like old times with old... selves. I miss our high school days. I miss hanging out with Andrea and going to library together after school to study for a bit and then waiting until my mom came. That was really nice of her. I'm really glad I got to come up to Irvine to visit her and everybody else. I'm sorry I'm not really naming anybody else here except her because if it wasn't for her, I'd probably not visit. And it doesn't mean that everybody in Irvine that I visited isn't that special, you are all special, but the only reason why I specifically went for her was because of my nostalgia feeling.
I remember back in the summer of 8th grade going onto 9th grade. It was one of the best and worst times I've had in my life, but let's focus on the great times. I had become really close friends with Pedro and Andrea. Andrea because somehow, she was the connection that I had made and then I got to know everybody in the circle of her friends and later became my friends in high school and also because she was literally my first great friend that wasn't a boy. At the time, I thought it was so super interesting to be able to talk to a beautiful girl and not be nervous, only because I was very very VERY shy around girls at the time, but not somehow, not her. Pedro because well we're pretty much brothers and we continually hung out in the summer almost I'd like to say everyday although it probably wasn't. But it was extremely frequent and it was the best.
You know what's crazy though? That nostalgia feeling first occurred to me 6 years ago. Can you believe it? 6 years... 4 years in high school and 2nd year in college. It's crazy isn't it? How that time passed, how many memories we've accumulated over the years, the time that we've spent with our best friends. Think back... 6 years ago. What did you do? Think back to a time when you were with the bestest of your friends and you had a nostalgia feeling like mine and you would just hang out with them, and it was special to me because it was the transition of my independence.
The nostalgia feeling is most defined when we all decided to go to verde together and hang out as a group of friends. We'd go to Maivy's house, play a little bit of Halo, perhaps Monopoly, wait for more people to show up. Walk to the Cal train station under the hot blistering heat of the sun. Wait for the cal train to come, get on it and take it to mountain view downtown, just one stop from where we were. Get out and walk to verde. And I remember their old chicken and pmt. Their old bags too.. it was white with a blue ship on it and oh man the chicken back then was incredibly oily but super tasty. Also the inside of the building was super super GREEN and had small tables and chairs.
And back to nostalgia... I felt most nostalgic on one special point, before I would walk to Maivy's because we literally lived right next to each other, maybe an 1/8th of a mile. Our complexes were just big but otherwise we were right there next ot each other. And I remember I would walk outside and I would feel a reallly warm summer breeze and there would be leaves on the ground and I would just walk down the stairs really really slowly and just take all the warm breeze in and just stand there thinking it would be an awesome great day. And when I came back, I walked up the steps, turned around and looked at the changing sun from a bright light to a more mellow and soft yellow-orange thinking, today, I made a lot of great memories and it was incredibly fun. I hope I can always do this.
And it hit me because it was that time of the year again of nostalgia and it made me think of that moment, I felt that warm breeze when I went to visit everybody on Saturday and I got to see an old face, and how it was the same face, in a way, 6 years later.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Throwing a paper airplane
Sometimes... I think it's better to not think about it, let it go and just accept what happens. This reminds me of a scene from A Moment With You. Go to a bridge with water underneath, write something on a piece of paper that's bothering you or something you want to do, fold that piece of paper into an airplane and throw.
"Don't get irritated at trivial things"
"Don't get irritated at trivial things"
Monday, February 1, 2010
It was well needed, Thank you
Over the past few weeks I have been edgy with you. And I realize that it was all from just one main thing and that was how we view our own situations differently. I viewed them as something of like a commitment and an obligation and obviously, that wasn't fair to you and it's true. You are right, you should never be obligated to talk to me and I'm sorry that I made you feel that way as that can be extremely annoying if I was on the receiving end and there would be times when I'm just not in the mood. To be honest, I actually did go over this possibly in my head. I thought, "Am I asking too much? Am I overreacting? Am I... demanding more than I should? Am I taking it too far?" Those questions were filled with both yes's and no's. No's because I highly hold myself to things I say I would do because of the way I view things. And Yes's because it really was just talking and nothing like super required like you said. Still I felt somewhat annoyed and I just thought it'd be best if I'd let you know and maybe in the same process you could tell me how you felt about it and there would be some kind of compromise or something.
I think one reason why I was acting all stupid was well my viewpoint obviously, but I want to tell you one thing that lead me to believe this viewpoint and follow by it with everything that I am. A long time ago when my parents were still married (my step-dad and mom). My mom was sick and she rarely gets sick and so when she does it's pretty bad and her fever was rising and it was pretty high like 103 or something. And I remember that you'd have to go to hospital if it was 104 and above cause that's kind of dangerous. I remember something like 107 to 108 and you're dead. So my step dad and I were both getting pretty worried and we didnt have any drug medications like tylenol. And I remember that my step dad went to the store longs drugs but didn't bring cash cause he was so frantic and so he just drove there without any money and he came back with medicine. I asked him how he did it and he told me that he gave his word to the clerk that he would pay him back the next day or something and that he really needed it for my mom. He told me in a extremely firm tone that If anyone gives his/her word to someone then you best follow it and do it otherwise you are literally nothing and you aren't worth their time or something like that. I really took that to heart and I still remember that day very clearly because I was in my room and he came in and told me that.
So back to where we are. Perhaps I felt like you were giving me your word, and I don't take it so seriously that you are nothing, it's just a hypothesis as to why I was annoyed by it. Another reason may have been that since we didn't hang out, every other chance to hang out became more and more important to me, but of course that's how I view things.
But you were right. You were so right. I am at fault also because this was the second time that I've had the talk of obligations. Maybe somehow I get egotistical or something and feel like I am special when really, I am just a friend. And I should not take up more time than what I am. I felt really bad when you said to me that you only hung out with your best friend only once since the quarter started. And actually i've seen you around a lot, well compared to once and I feel selfish for that. I'm sorry for that.
Overall though, In the grand scheme of things, I also have to say Thank you. You changed on how I look at things and that I really shouldn't take things at face value for more trivial things like hanging out. Although I am still adjusting and I don't know what to think or what to expect when we plan stuff, I know I shouldn't be too angry or at all if you decide to cancel on me. If you do, I know out of the goodness in your heart that you would feel bad and from that I feel like you'd maybe make more of an effort, but what's different is that I shouldn't expect that you are doing that. That's the important change I'm going to make. Thank you.
With that said, I'm going to leave you all with my most cherished and favorite spot in La Jolla, the Cove. ^_^
I think one reason why I was acting all stupid was well my viewpoint obviously, but I want to tell you one thing that lead me to believe this viewpoint and follow by it with everything that I am. A long time ago when my parents were still married (my step-dad and mom). My mom was sick and she rarely gets sick and so when she does it's pretty bad and her fever was rising and it was pretty high like 103 or something. And I remember that you'd have to go to hospital if it was 104 and above cause that's kind of dangerous. I remember something like 107 to 108 and you're dead. So my step dad and I were both getting pretty worried and we didnt have any drug medications like tylenol. And I remember that my step dad went to the store longs drugs but didn't bring cash cause he was so frantic and so he just drove there without any money and he came back with medicine. I asked him how he did it and he told me that he gave his word to the clerk that he would pay him back the next day or something and that he really needed it for my mom. He told me in a extremely firm tone that If anyone gives his/her word to someone then you best follow it and do it otherwise you are literally nothing and you aren't worth their time or something like that. I really took that to heart and I still remember that day very clearly because I was in my room and he came in and told me that.
So back to where we are. Perhaps I felt like you were giving me your word, and I don't take it so seriously that you are nothing, it's just a hypothesis as to why I was annoyed by it. Another reason may have been that since we didn't hang out, every other chance to hang out became more and more important to me, but of course that's how I view things.
But you were right. You were so right. I am at fault also because this was the second time that I've had the talk of obligations. Maybe somehow I get egotistical or something and feel like I am special when really, I am just a friend. And I should not take up more time than what I am. I felt really bad when you said to me that you only hung out with your best friend only once since the quarter started. And actually i've seen you around a lot, well compared to once and I feel selfish for that. I'm sorry for that.
Overall though, In the grand scheme of things, I also have to say Thank you. You changed on how I look at things and that I really shouldn't take things at face value for more trivial things like hanging out. Although I am still adjusting and I don't know what to think or what to expect when we plan stuff, I know I shouldn't be too angry or at all if you decide to cancel on me. If you do, I know out of the goodness in your heart that you would feel bad and from that I feel like you'd maybe make more of an effort, but what's different is that I shouldn't expect that you are doing that. That's the important change I'm going to make. Thank you.
With that said, I'm going to leave you all with my most cherished and favorite spot in La Jolla, the Cove. ^_^
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