Powerless and Lost

At least I haven't had a dream about her since my last post. I guess that's good.

You know I've been wondering a question to myself. Am I happy and am I a good person. It goes a bit of both ways for me at this moment. I guess I'm happy cause I have a good life and such, compared to those who are waay less fortunate. Even compared to those who are really fortunate, well my life is pretty good in that perspective too. It may not be the greatest but most of it just seems materialistic anyway.

Okay to be continued... Got a favor to do tomorrow.

*at the orthodontist*
Am I happy? Am I a good friend that positively influences them? Sometimes I wonder if I am a good friend these days. Sometimes I feel a bit powerless to help friends. And I feel like a bunch of things are going on right now and sometimes it overwhelms me. I feel like a few things happened that just kind of shakes me, but I think it's the mix of emotions everywhere that gets me. It's like a mixture of sadness, lonesome, and then combating it with the feeling that you're too busy to worry about these things. But it's still there, that's the thing. And sometimes that overwhelms me and I don't really know what to do. It's kind of weird.

As for the lonely part, maybe it's just that I miss talking to someone, but I think it's hard since if I talk to a girl I don't want to get too close, and if it's a guy, usually they're kinda not online to talk. And it's not exactly that I miss you, it's just a person to talk sometimes with.